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View Full Version : If reincarnation were true.....



Sgt. Nuke
12-02-2005, 10:34 AM
I would want to be a pig.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.




(Hardly seems worth it.)





If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.





(Now that's more like it!)





The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.





(Awesome!)





A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.





(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)





A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)





(I'm still not over the pig.)





Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour




(Eddie, don't try this at home, but maybe at work)





The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.






("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")






The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.





(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)





The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.





(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )






Some lions mate over 50 times a day.






(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity, and notice that it only said "some")





Butterflies taste with their feet.





(Something I always wanted to know.)





The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.





(Hmmmmmm......)





Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.




(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)





Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.






(okay, so that would be a good thing)





A cat's urine glows under a black light.





(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)





An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.




( I know some people like that.)





Starfish have no brains





(I know some people like that too.)






Polar bears are left-handed.






(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)





Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.





(What about that pig??)

esks4life
12-02-2005, 11:21 AM
That brings a new meaning to "she squealed like a pig last night" :lol:

Esks4ever
12-02-2005, 11:23 AM
That brings a new meaning to "she squealed like a pig last night" :lol:


would that because she actually was a pig ?

esks4life
12-02-2005, 11:24 AM
would that because she actually was a pig ?
:rolleyes:

Delorean
12-02-2005, 11:26 AM
Sooooooooooooo-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! :lol:

Esks4ever
12-02-2005, 11:26 AM
HEY , you cant do that.. thats a KC trademark....

esks4life
12-02-2005, 11:29 AM
HEY , you cant do that.. thats a KC trademark....
So sooooooooooo me.... :D

Esks4ever
12-02-2005, 11:29 AM
So sooooooooooo me.... :D



Ummm i sure you meant sue unless yer looking for people to sow you.. :scratch:

Gargoyle
12-02-2005, 11:30 AM
Hmm, Del's avatar makes me wonder why Miss Piggy is such a b**ch. Not like she has a lot to complain about, unless she's unsatisfied with Kermit's production in comparison! :eek:

esks4life
12-02-2005, 11:31 AM
Ummm i sure you meant sue unless yer looking for people to sow you.. :scratch:
F off. :D

Esks4ever
12-02-2005, 11:33 AM
Hmm, Del's avatar makes me wonder why Miss Piggy is such a b**ch. Not like she has a lot to complain about, unless she's unsatisfied with Kermit's production in comparison! :eek:


his avy isn't kermit, as he(del) so rudely informed me. Its a retarded turtle. Tary is his name.

Delorean
12-02-2005, 11:36 AM
his avy isn't kermit, as he(del) so rudely informed me. Its a retarded turtle. Tary is his name.

He's Tardy Turtle from the old Greg the Bunny series...and he's not retarded, he's just a little slow :p

Gargoyle
12-02-2005, 11:39 AM
his avy isn't kermit, as he(del) so rudely informed me. Its a retarded turtle. Tary is his name.
Thanks for the clarification. I thought it looked a bit like a lackwit second-cousin of Kermit's, but you can't judge a muppet by its cover (just the hand that violates it, I guess). At any rate, maybe Miss Piggy should try Tardy the turtle on for size. Thanks as well, Del.

Esks4ever
12-02-2005, 11:42 AM
He's Tardy Turtle from the old Greg the Bunny series...and he's not retarded, he's just a little slow :p


oh no.. he's retarded :)

Sgt. Nuke
12-02-2005, 02:33 PM
Why am I not surprised at the three people who have dominated this thread?

Esks4ever
12-02-2005, 02:34 PM
Why am I not surprised at the three people who have dominated this thread?


honestly Puke, I dominate most , if not all threads :p

Sgt. Nuke
12-02-2005, 02:35 PM
honestly Puke, I dominate most , if not all threads :p

Proving the statement.....size DOES matter. :D

Sgt. Nuke
12-02-2005, 02:36 PM
And I think you were looking for a slightly different variation on "honestly"

Esks4ever
12-02-2005, 02:38 PM
nope honestly works :)

Opus
12-02-2005, 02:41 PM
.....and now for a totally tastless picture that continues to gain relevance in this thread......

http://www.ctgilles.net/images/pictars/getoffstage.jpg

Sgt. Nuke
12-02-2005, 02:43 PM
What are you saying? That her orgasm lasted 30 minutes? Or that she can't jump?

Opus
12-02-2005, 02:48 PM
What are you saying? That her orgasm lasted 30 minutes? Or that she can't jump?
I'll leave the interpretation up to the viewer....:D :lol:

EskiPhenom
12-03-2005, 12:47 PM
What are you saying? That her orgasm lasted 30 minutes? Or that she can't jump?

:rofl: Boy am I glad I don't believe in hell.... :lol: