boydo

Are You A Child of The 80's???

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I'm a child of the 80's...that's what I am...that's what I want to be called. The 90's were ok, the Y2k bug didn't bite me (although it can). Grunge wasn't here to stay, fashion is fickle and "Generation X" is a myth invented by some over-50 writer trying to figure out why people are pierced everywhere...
When I got home from school, I played Atari 2600. I spent hours playing Pitfall, Combat, Defender or Frogger. Mario was the guy trying to beat Donkey Kong and didn’t have a Kart yet. I never did beat Asteroids...
I watched "Scooby Doo". Daphne was hot, and I thought Shaggy was smokin' something in the back of the Mystery Machine. Scrappy was stupid.
I would sleep over at friend's houses on the weekends. We played with GI Joe, and set up intergalactic wars between the Autobots and Decepticons. Nobody beat the Rubik's cube without taking off the stickers.
Saturday morning consisted of Marvel Comics cartoons like "Spiderman" and "Ironman", does anybody remember "when Captain America throws his mighty shield...all those who choose to oppose his shield must yield"? In between there was "Kid Video" and "School House Rock", (conjunction junction what's your function?).
Friday nights had Bo & Luke shooting dynamite arrows out the window of the General Lee, and then if you got to stay up late you had to wonder "who shot JR?". There was also Lee Majors first making you want to have Bionic legs, then making a lot of young men want to become stunt men just to hang out with chicks as hot as Heather Thomas. (who didn’t have the poster of her in the pink bikini in the hot tub?)
At the movies, the Lambda Lambda Lambda's beat the Alpha Beta's (with the help of the Omega Mu's of course). I saw Indiana Jones find the Lost Ark, wondered what Yoda meant when he said "no, there is another...". There was a new Ninja movie every other month with Sho Kusagi in it whipping throwing stars with his feet.
My family took summer vacations in the motor home...traipsing all over the province collecting "Muppet Movie" glasses along the way (we had the whole set).
I listened to John Cougar Mellancamp sing about Little Pink Houses for Jack & Dianne. I didn't give a rat's ass about the color of Boy George's dreams...Duran Duran was too cool for their own good and MTV actually played MUSIC VIDEOS.
Nickleodeon had "You Can't Do That On Television" and "Dangermouse".
I drank Pop Shoppe Pop, and Dr. Pepper by the gallon...out of glass bottles. "I'm a pepper, you're a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?". Shasta was for losers, TAB was a lab experiment gone horribly wrong, Fresca was just strange tasting...and orange juice wasn't just for breakfast anymore. My mom put a million wagon wheels in my Star Trek lunch kit, and my thermos always leaked Kool Aid, which made my Wonder Bread sandwiches soggy. I had so many cheese & cracker snacks that I could build the golden gate bridge out of the little red sticks...
I went to school with an armload of books for the whole week, not a backpack full for one day...we played tag @ recess. Track & Field day was bigger than Christmas, but it always seemed to rain just enough to make you miserable. Mason jars rubber bands were the worst weapon in school.
I went to Cub Scouts, got lots of badges, but don't remember actually working to earn any of them. My derby car never won....
The world stopped the day the Challenger exploded...for about 1/2 an hour till the jokes started flying around.
If someone in your school died before they graduated... it wasn't gang related. Although it’s amazing more of us didn’t die since there weren’t any child safety seats and none of us ever wore helmets on our bikes or seatbelts on the way home from swimming lessons.
We're the ones who played with Lego when it was still just blocks, gave Malibu Barbie a brush cut to look like Pat Benetar. We rode Big Wheels and then BMX bikes. Sidewalk chalk was all you needed to create a city. Toys required imagination, and when we wanted to...anything could be everything. The downstairs furniture had sheets thrown on it to make forts, and the world was in the backyard. We had HUGE tape players that were bursting with Debbie Gibson and Twisted Sister. Everyone wanted a skirt like Madonna or no socks like Don Johnson. We're the ones who sing along to the Boss, and the Bangles without noticing it. We flip through TV stations and stop when we see Hannibal Smith making something to fight with the A-Team. We hold strong bonds with Kermit and the Sesame Street gang, and we wondered how the hell did they get so many Smurfs when Smurfette was the only chick around. The kids of Degrassi taught us how to be nice and not smoke...who thinks the Power Rangers are just a Voltron rip-off? We read the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Encyclopedia Brown and choose your own adventure books.
Friendship bracelets were ties that couldn't be broken and friendship pins belonged on your converse hi-tops.
YOU NEVER LIKED "New" Coke and wished Bill Cosby would rot for trying to change the soft drink world.
In your underoos you could run around the house as Wonder Woman, or Robin or the “Man From Atlantis”...
"We didn't start the fire...it was always burnin..."
The backdoor was never locked and you and your friends could play till all hours without your parents wondering where you were...you were out playing Green Ghost or Kick the Can. We didn't worry about child molesters or talking to strangers...there weren't any.
You could leave your bike in the front yard or at the pool or in front of the corner store while you were getting Garbage Pail Kids stickers without worrying if someone would steal your bike.
We collected football and baseball cards...but not for an investment...we wanted the whole set, and used them to make noise in the spokes of our bikes.
Going to McDonald's once in a blue moon for a Happy Meal was a big event, but we still had to wait in the car. Remember pulling up to A & W and them hanging your food on the window? I always wondered how come the window didn’t break. To this day I still can see the Root Bear wiggling his big butt down the road with the “ba bum ba bum…bum bum bum bump” tuba playing…
Does going to the arcades, and getting carpooled to football bring back memories? How many of you melted your army men with a magnifying glass when you ran out of ants?

This is the stuff that we're made of...if it means we're a lost generation...then I don't want a map.

Boydo
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Comments

  1. Opus's Avatar
    I am so there man.

    Flintstones not just at noon on CFRN, but at 4 o'clock too, because you just can't have enough stone age hijinx. Never mind Battle of the Planets before Gilligan's Island came on. Pretend gun fights that roamed across the whole neighborhood, back yards be damned. Stomper 4x4's and WWF wrestling figures and accompanying ring. Street hockey games that lasted as long as they took, under white street lamps. Froshing meant a neighborhood war with shaving cream, and pilfering just the right nozzle to make a can shoot 20 feet.
  2. boydo's Avatar
    How could I have forgot the Flintstones? And white street lights? Oh, how I miss white street lights.
  3. sns2's Avatar
    The only thing you're missing is riding around the neighborhood while holding on to the back of some unsuspecting housewife's bumper. Oh the good old days. Odd thing is the high school I teach at is playing the same music during class change that I listened to on my spanking new Sony walkman while walking down the halls in 1982. Talk about deja vu.
  4. boydo's Avatar
    The bumper skiing came later on in life, I was going with more the childhood aspect, but yeah...I remember many a tours around town wearing out the bottoms my cowboy boots. Along those lines, I also remember piling about a million kids into the box of a truck to go somewhere at the lake...