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Thread: Another Joke for glenvb

  1. #121
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put it's in a bottle of ethanol. He then ask his students if it will dissolve.

    A student raise his hand to answer.

    Student: No it won't dissolve sir.

    Teacher: Really good! Now can you explain to the rest of the class why?

    Student: You're so cheap, there's no way you would've sacrificed that $20.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  2. #122
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    See my latest post in Booty thread. She could be your next ASSistant.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  3. #123
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    I saw a wanted sign today

    It read;

    Wanted dead and alive,

    Schrodinger's Cat
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  4. #124
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    I both get that joke and don't get it.
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  5. #125
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    you're one up on me.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  6. #126
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Well, now that you've observed me, I definitely get it.
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  7. #127
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  8. #128
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Quote Originally Posted by pizmo View Post
    Never mind, thought this was blank as I couldn't see the link.

  9. #129
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Genie: You have 3 wishes

    "I wish you were terrible at Maths"

    Genie: Okay, now you have 14 left.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  10. #130
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    I come from a long line of overworked and underappreciated mathematicians. We have many sayings that flew over my head until I was old enough to understand them.

    One day in my younger years I was asking for help from my father in finding the gradient of a curve. I knew it had something to do with lines, but I was essentially just drawing shapes on my homework. He put it in a way that always stuck with me:

    Great minds think of lines, but fools rarely differentiate.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  11. #131
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    The freaky thing is that I was actually teaching that stuff (gradient vectors) last week.
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  12. #132
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    What did the 0 say to the 8?

    Nice belt.
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  13. #133
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    There are two types of people in this world

    Those who can extrapolate information from an incomplete set of data.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  14. #134
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    That's
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  15. #135
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb


  16. #136
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Quote Originally Posted by Moon1 View Post
    This one's already posted on my bulletin board
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  17. #137
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Quote Originally Posted by glenvb View Post
    This one's already posted on my bulletin board
    ok then
    how about this one
    pic2.jpg

  18. #138
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Added to my collection
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  19. #139
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    From The Chive :

    I had a hen who could count her own eggs. She was a mathmachicken. ( Sorry, )

  20. #140
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    A proton, electron and a neuton get into a bar fight.

    The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  21. #141
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Hopefully we havent' posted this one yet

    52914726_791249244583332_7949348917110374400_n.jpg
    In Rod we trust

  22. #142
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    I'm actually going to have a chance to use this one in class tomorrow
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  23. #143
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Quote Originally Posted by glenvb View Post
    I'm actually going to have a chance to use this one in class tomorrow
    sweet!
    I actually remember that one from math 103 and high school but I took my classes in french so it was distance, vitesse et temps, same letters tho
    In Rod we trust

  24. #144
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb


  25. #145
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    From " The Chive."

    Did you hear about the geometry teacher that left his parrot's cage open ?

    Polygon !!!!

  26. #146
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    A farmer has 895 sheep.

    Realising that this is quite a lot of sheep for one farm, and Jess the sheepdog is getting a bit old, he decides he'll probably need a new dog- no, a whole team of dogs- to round so many sheep up.

    So the next day, the farmer goes to the pet store. He looks around at the various herding dogs- they seem very fit, but young and untrained. The shopkeeper asks the farmer if he wants any help.

    "Why yes," says the farmer. I need a team of sheepdogs to help round up my flock. I have a rather large number of sheep, you see, and I don't think any of these young pups would be up to the task of rounding up so many."

    The shopkeeper says, "I've got just the thing for you." and leads the farmer into a small back room, where a single sheepdog sits waiting.

    "Are you sure?" asks the farmer, "I have very many sheep and I don't think one dog will be able to round all of them up.".

    "I'm sure." says the shopkeeper, "This is a very intelligent dog. He's been well-trained for many jobs and has skills beyond any other dog I've ever seen."

    "Yes," says the dog, "I know six languages, eight martial arts and I have a degree in engineering." The farmer, clearly very impressed by this dog- who wouldn't be impressed by that?- decides to take him home.

    That afternoon, the farmer and the dog walk together up hill, and from the top they can see the entire flock covering the fields. "Well," says the farmer, "I'd like you to round up all of these sheep.".

    "Okay." replies the dog, "You have nine hundred sheep."
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  27. #147
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    I promise that I will never use that joke in my classes, ever.
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  28. #148
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    so it was a success for me? Remember the use of a roundup is worth millions.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

  29. #149
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    Absolutely a success for you
    Out of my mind; back in five minutes.

  30. #150
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    Re: Another Joke for glenvb

    not sure if that's a compliment.
    WALTER IS MY HERO!!

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