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Thread: Merry christmas!!!

  1. #1
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    History Merry christmas!!!

    The Angel on the tree
    When four of Santa's elves got sick and the trainee elves didn't produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule…
    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.
    This stressed Santa even more.
    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
    More stress.
    Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
    Frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
    When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
    In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
    He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
    Just then, the doorbell rang and an irritable Santa trudged to the door.
    He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
    The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa! Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
    And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree…
    By previously legalizing same-sex marriage and now Marijuana, Canada has finally interpreted the bible correctly:

    Leviticus 20:13 "If a man lies with another man he should be stoned.

  2. #2
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    Re: Merry christmas!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by pizmo View Post
    The Angel on the tree
    When four of Santa's elves got sick and the trainee elves didn't produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule…
    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.
    This stressed Santa even more.
    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
    More stress.
    Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
    Frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
    When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
    In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
    He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
    Just then, the doorbell rang and an irritable Santa trudged to the door.
    He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
    The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa! Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
    And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree…

    " brings a teardrop to me eyes".

  3. #3
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    Re: Merry christmas!!!

    Ah Christmas! My favorite secular holiday!
    "Of all the so-called virtues, the most over-rated is faith" - Christopher Hitchens

  4. #4
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    Re: Merry christmas!!!

    Every time an oiler goalie gives up a soft goal an Angel earns its wings.

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